We are all guilty of thinking or rationalising reasons as to why we cannot when in reality; we all know we should be thinking of reason to do. We consciously make these decisions every day because often they are associated with taking the path of least resistance.
Excuses are our psychology method for blocking off difficult situations and giving us an opt-out so that we can take the easy road while maintaining the integrity of our ego.
Ego – that’s really why we make excuses.
We want to protect ourselves from pressures and difficulties so that we avoid failure and bruising to our precious ego.
In reality, life becomes so much easier when you eliminate your excuses.
You get better at toughing out situations and overcoming obstacles when you are exposed to them more often, just as the long distance runner cannot get any better without running long distances, the human mind cannot become more resilient without overcoming difficulties.
Behavioural change happens when you consciously make the decision to move into a place where your visions and beliefs correlate with the person you are – the main change you can make to move into a more positive position as a person would be to remove the belief that you need to make excuses on a regular basis.
Taking ownership of our actions and the things that we do and don’t do which have an impact on our lives and those around us is essential to creating a zero excuse mind-set.
It’s easy to recognise when we are making an excuse because we try to overcome the contradiction between our beliefs and our inability to do something by creating mental blocks which include:
• Rationalising Behaviour’s – “I’m doing this because this thing happened, that makes it OK”
• Deny Responsibility – “This is not something I should be doing so I’m not going to do it”
• Distractions – “I have something else to do so I can’t do that”
How do we opt-out of opting out and stop the excuse making process?
• Stop excusing yourself – If your actions are not in alignment with your values and beliefs then you are simply not confident in what you believe and are using weak excuses to avoid anyone questioning your belief system. The only way to build self confidence in this matter however is to put yourself into the uncomfortable position of being exposed for your beliefs, as long as you truly have conviction in what you want then you will draw strength from it. Stop making excuses that stop you living your life the way you want it, if you don’t truly want to live your life in a certain way then stop trying to please others. You will find happiness and confidence by being yourself.
• Stop living the lie – Lying to yourself is just plain crazy. You know it’s a lie. Catch yourself doing this, call yourself out on your failures and face the obstacles in your path to become the person you want to be, as opposed to living in the shadow of who you could be.
It’s important to recognise that everything we do is a choice – we have the choice to take the easy road or the difficult one. The decision comes from you alone as to which path you take, but remember that each time to excuse yourself from stretching and pushing then you are letting yourself and your future down.
Phil Halfpenny is an Author, Writer and Speaker.
His first book “the art of budgeting” is available through Amazon on digital and paperback formats.
He can be found on Facebook under the page ‘Phillip Halfpenny Author’ and you can get in touch directly with him via this page.